Social Distancing....All the Cool Kids Are Doing It.

Hello again!

Welcome to the second installment of my Calmly Welcoming Insanity blog. And truth be told, I welcomed insanity years ago, but I like to renew the membership as often as possible.  So much has happened since my last post..... let's get right down to it.

My household consists of myself, my 18 yr old nephew Matt, a German Shepherd named Jesse and the maine coon cat, public enemy #1, Dracula.  Also in the mix is my boyfriend Jamie, who conveniently lives across the street.  It's a good dynamic. We all have a good sense of humor, can take being the butt end of a joke, have different skill sets and overall work well together. So being holed up with a teenager so far is working.  There are hiccups of course... Like how I need to hold a weekly tutorial of how to load the dishwasher so everything actually gets cleaned.  Or how I have to be Captain Obvious and say things like "when was the last time you were outside?" or "don't eat the whole package of oreos in one sitting" or "try to have something for dinner that is green, not beige".  All in all it is a great learning experience for us.  I, as stated in my first blog, am not a fan of the children.  So having a teenager in my house has been eye awakening to say the least.  I have learned the following:

- The phone is in essence a life saving device akin to a pacemaker, without it they will die.
- Kids have been social distancing most of their lives via social media. This pandemic should be a breeze for them...until the internet goes down.
- There is a smell in my nephews room that will need to be taken care of by a specialty hazmat cleaning unit when he eventually moves out.
- At midnight, the teenage brain resets.
- Being told NO about something crushes....their.....souls.
- Snapchat selfies trump everyone and everything, every time.

Jamie suggested the other day that we have a Covid Cookie Competition. He is a cookie enthusiast... he talks about cookies like they hold a special place in his heart. I don't particularly care for cookies, or cakes or pastries. I don't really bake, I don't like how precise you have to be with every measurement of every ingredient. I'd rather cook. You can throw handfuls of food into a pan, be reckless with the amount of garlic you add and have a delicious meal in no time.  So when he suggested we should have a cookie competition that my nephew would judge, in hindsight, two things happened: I got duped into making cookies and my competitive side went into overdrive.  I don't have a secret recipe in my back pocket to whip out. But one thing was true... I was in it to win it.  These are tough times we are in. We should be embracing our time together with fun, meaningful activities. But right when you add the word "Competition" to a leisurely Sunday afternoon of baking, the gloves come off.  Jamie picked a recipe that combines two favorites.... a boxed cake mix and hershey chocolate chips. Two things my nephew loves more than life itself.  I had to listen to a long winded story about how Matt finds a Funfetti Cake to be eighth wonder of the world. My only question to him was "what the hell is a Funfetti cake?  Right then I knew I had to get my A game on.  I know of one cookie that dominates that Funfetti cake lovers brain... the Royal Dansk butter cookie. He eats those round tins of treats like it's his job.  For Christmas I wrapped a stack of those tins up that was at least 2 feet high for him and as far as I know, they are all gone.  So the competition was the yellow cake chocolate chip cookies (aka the cakey) vs the definitely not royal megxit butter cookie.

 As you can see here, Jamie is showcasing the cookies while practicing safe cookie sheet handling with the Ove glove.

Matt not taking the judging too seriously, while the fish are anxiously await his decision.

After tasting several of the cookies, and by several I mean at least 10, Matt declared the winner.... the definitely not royal megxit butter cookies.  Even though he did think they were just sugar cookies with a hint of butter, I will take the win!  But here's where I got duped, Jamie also gets the win because now he has 3 dozen cookies to last him until the next cooking competition. My sweet victory quickly has turned sour.

Did the following PSA message make anyone else feel slightly uncomfortable? Arnold Schwarzenegger Made An Incredible Coronavirus PSA With His Mini Donkey And Mini Horse https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ellievhall/arnold-schwarzenegger-coronavirus-donkey-mini-horse   You'd expect a video like that to be made around day 74 of a quarantine, not within the first week of self isolation. He not only welcomed insanity, he embraced it.

Ok, let's talk Cuomo. Either you love him or you hate him. I have been a Cuomo fan for a long time and am making a habit of watching his daily press conferences to stay informed, grounded, scared and slightly sane.  I feel a horrible mixture of terror and comfort from them.  I can tell you I appreciate how on point and matter of fact he is about what is going on.  Also, when he is interjecting an opinion or feeling, he prefaces his statements by saying they are his words and not facts. Something I wish all of our so called leaders would do.  I am astounded at the amount of misinformation that is being fed to us, but more scared of the people who believe in it.  Wouldn't it be great if for once politicians, news agencies and conspiracy theorists all came together and just said "here are the actual facts and what we recommend you should do to combat this crisis we are ALL in".  Rather than listening to our leaders tell us how they "feel things are or feel will be", tell us what the scientists and medical professionals are saying.  Tell us how to be safe and make the most of our time.  I think this pandemic is going to make or break us as a country.  I know as a fact it's going to force our society to re-learn how to live. We need to simplify our expectations and re-train ourselves on how to be self sufficient.  Plant a vegetable garden, even in an urban setting.  Figure out how to fix, build, refurbish things.  Take this time to learn a trade or skill that will better you, your family, even your community.  I have been looking at welding equipment... how cool would it be to learn to weld? Plus I could fix the gate on my driveway that is no longer straight, make some cool metal trellises for my gardens... or help a neighbor repair something.  Self sufficiency is a lost art. We have acquired this sense of urgency for everything we want and need. All we have to do is click that "place your order" button on our phones and whatever you 'have to have' will be delivered to you in two days or less. And god forbid if the item is not delivered on time. You use your outside voice when calling customer service demanding to know where your order is.... because waiting 3 days to have exfoliating cream or a hooded parka for your dog or a package of candy you remember from your childhood is NOT acceptable.  It's time to change that.  We have become a society that must have instant gratification on all levels to the point of being unrealistic.  Let's all learn to take a breath, think twice, be kind, read rather than watch, cook a meal from scratch, stare at the sky and day dream.  Be grateful for what you have rather than what you don't have.  And most importantly be mindful of how your actions and words greatly affect those around you.

I learned a couple of things today....

- 85,000 New Yorkers are volunteering in the Big Apple. 26,000 Healthcare workers that are not even New Yorkers have stepped up to lend a hand in NYC hospitals.  Wow.
- On my daily walk, every third car that passed me reeked of reefer.
- My dog ignores me until I throw the word "cookie" into a sentence.
- I'm pretty sure I told Jamie I would get a mohawk in celebration of the end of this pandemic. 
- I'm pretty sure he said he would too.
- Going to make these soon  https://www.inspiredtaste.net/35686/easy-flatbread-recipe/#itr-recipe-35686
- I don't know if I can wait for the final season of Schitt's Creek to come on Netflix.

Okay, that's it for now.  Please forward this blog to anyone you may think will enjoy it. I welcome your comments, good or bad. Click on the Follow or Follow by Email tabs. Now stop touching your face and  go wash your hands.....

Jules

Here is your daily dose of Dracula....it pretty much speaks for itself.