I'M ESSENTIAL ..well that's what the governor says.

Hello again....hello!  No this is not Neil Diamond, sorry to disappoint.

So I just heard that the Governor has said that all landscape companies are considered essential businesses.  I can't wait to get to work on gardens and outdoor projects.  I have started several seedlings for my vegetables indoors and am planning more outdoor gardens in my backyard. I am REALLY excited to get my hands back in the earth.  I am NOT SO excited about having to teach some of my older clients to use paypal or venmo for payments. A lot of them like to physically hand me payment and then make small talk about the neighbor's dog barking all hours of the night.  I'll let you know how that goes....

I have been getting some of the weirdest headlines in my google newsfeed lately... here are a couple that popped up (and these are actual headlines).

- "With zoo closed to visitors, pandas finally bang after 10 years"  - Shanghai.ist
* This article's headline was set above a picture of the two panda's actually banging.

-"Trump says he will 'take a look' at Tiger King Joe Exotic pardon"  - New York Post
* I'm sorry, he has time for this????

- "A text message is the best way to break up with someone (even when there's not a
pandemic)  -  Insidehook.com
* I hate millenials. 

-  " 'Top Gun: Maverick' release date pushed back"  -  CNN
* Thank you.  Hopefully if this pandemic goes long enough, they will forget to release this    altogether.

- "Breaking News: The CDC advises all Americans to wear non-medical masks, President Trump  said. He added: 'I'm choosing not to do it. It's only a recommendation."  -  The New York Times.
 *Ummm, okay Don. I'm okay with you not wearing a mask.  But I'm thinking if you wore an orange one, it would camouflage on your face and we wouldn't even know you were wearing it. Just sayin'.

- "Family members get into a fight when one accuses the other of hiding toilet paper"  -  CNN
* A son actually punched his mom in the face because she was hiding the family's stockpile of toilet paper.  The mom said she was hiding it because the son was using too much. Gross.

Speaking of asses... My poor dog Jesse is pretty sick.  She has an autoimmune disease that is causing a lot of problems in her caboose.  At this point, she hasn't pooped in a couple days. An 80lb German Shepherd who eats constantly, CAN....NOT.....POOP.  I took her to the animal hospital and they changed up her medicine and they want me to incorporate canned pumpkin (cannot find) and miralax laxative powder (plenty of that in stores).  So she has had 3 doses of miralax and now I sit and wait for the explosion. I am a very sing-song person. I will make up words to any song to fit the situation I am in.  The number of songs I have come up with tonight incorporating the words "Jesse" and "pooping in the backyard" is pretty impressive.  Jesse, on the other hand, is not as impressed with my creative lyrics.  She has had enough and is dead asleep in her bed.  Her stomach is making some crazy noises like an old squeaky door opening up to a vat of boiling lava.  It's going to be a long night for us.  If she only liked coffee......


So I found a cat who may take Dracula's spot as the worst cat ever.  I have been following her story online and she has been adopted by someone. But I need to applaud the person who set up her facebook posting.... A+ for creativity and brutal honesty.   Plus, I have never seen a cat with such a disturbing resting bitch face.

I think Perdita may be my feline doppelganger. 


What is happening in Georgia? The internet must have been down for the past 2 months. Or they forgot to 'spring forward' their clocks.  Governor Kemp (R) had no idea that asymptomatic carriers of the virus can spread Covid-19. And Senator Thompson (R) tested positive for the virus, was sent home from the hospital to quarantine, but instead proceeded to take several carloads of people to his beach house in Florida. Both claiming ignorance that they had no idea the severity of this pandemic.  So on April 2nd, the Governor of Georgia issued a stay-at-home order, only essential businesses stayed open, school's closed, beaches closed and he deputized several sheriffs to make sure people comply to the order. Then on April 6th, he re-opened the state's beaches to the public.  I'm confused. So, do not go to work, do not send the kids to school, only go to the store if necessary, do not visit grandma in the nursing home...BUT, pack up the family for a fun day at the beach!! BUT, don't bring your chairs, tents or umbrellas. 

Dear Governor Kemp,
Please pick a lane and stay in it.
Sincerely,
Jules


Well I think I am done for the night. Jesse is still sleeping (and gurgling).  Time to watch some The First 48, you know easy tv viewing to fall asleep to.  I will leave you as always with....

Your daily dose of Dracula.....

Goodnight!
Jules