Tap tap tap....is this thing on? 

Welcome to the first posting on my new blog!  I know what you are thinking....a blog, really?  Not a witty podcast about true crime, amazing souffles or how you are failing as a parent? Here is your emphatic NO, and here's why:

  1) As much as I am a self proclaimed crime addict and consider any book on serial killers as "lite reading", this topic is too oversaturated now in our lives. Let's give it a rest. 

 2) I find souffles infuriating!  (Even though I have never made one) Just the thought of taking all that time to whip egg whites to a peaked perfection and having the whole thing collapse right before they are served makes me ANGRY, very angry.  I'm over it now. 

 3) I have never had children, don't particularly care for them and make every attempt to avoid them when possible.  Here's the best parenting advice I can give...  DRINK.  This tried-and-true tactic has been very effective in my family for generations!

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, let's dive right in....

I'm bored, hence this blog.  I am usually the person that is up bright and early and doesn't stop.  I am an efficient multi-tasker and thrive on a deadline. Now with all this idle time on my hands, I don't know where to start.  Here's an idea of my newly adapted Covid-19 morning:

- I decide my day will start by trying to guess what time it is.

- I guess the time.  

- I look at my phone to see what time it is.

- Sneak a peak at my dog Jesse to see if she is sleeping. If she is, I let her sleep. If she isn't, we get up. 

- Head downstairs and let dog out, check to see if any of my fish are belly up.

- Make coffee, feed dog & cat.
- Wonder if I am drinking too much coffee.

- Drink coffee and try to figure out what to do all day.  

Things I have decided to do so far with my days : 

- Watch all the Datelines on NBC

- Pick up sticks in my yard, one... at... a... time. 

- Stare out my window and try to figure out where all my neighbors are going under our 'Stay at Home' declaration. 

- Not vacuum.

- Try not to eat all the snack food I have accumulated in one sitting. 

- Check in with my friends to see what they are doing all day.
- Throw tennis balls at my dog's face until she gets up, annoyed, and leaves the room. 

- Avoid Dracula the cat at all costs.

On to the other things going on in the world.....

Well, there is this pesky virus going around that is going to cause humanity to lose what we have as we know it.  This may be the test of time for many.  For some reason I am relatively calm and at a peaceful understanding with what is happening.  Maybe because I am older, maybe because I am a natural social distancer, maybe because I am more grounded than most,  maybe because I am calm in a crisis. Whichever it may be, I am at this point okay.  (I did freak out a little earlier because I was dangerously low on clementines, but that situation has been rectified.)  There is nothing we can do to change the situation we are in,  all we can do is listen and lead by example.  We have been given all the facts of the dangers we are facing. We have been given a strict list of do's & don'ts to combat the spread of this virus.  At this point in time, it's not okay to go against the grain.  We must band together by staying apart. I don't know how much clearer that message can be. 

Back to the nonsense.....

I think in this blog I really want to highlight some of my favorite texts, links and overall ridiculousness I am coming across during this time.  I am not going to make light of the situation at hand, I just want to make it a little more bearable at the expense of others. 

For instance, here is a fun thing to watch that I am putting under the "one of the most absurd things i have heard this week" column.

 https://nypost.com/2020/03/23/florida-politician-says-coronavirus-cured-by-blowing-hairdryer-up-nose/  

The best part of that whole video is not the fact that a grown man is encouraging people to blast their faces with their hairdryers, but the councilman sitting in the middle of the panel holding his head at the end.  YES!!  I am encouraging anyone who doesn't mind a stiff, dry, hot wind to their face to PLEASE take a picture of themselves trying out this miracle Covid blasting cure and send it to me.  

Today's highlight was the text I got from my boyfriend saying the liquor stores and local breweries are now delivering!  Not to mention we can get a dozen Dr. Fauci doughnuts delivered to our doorstep! https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/26/us/dr-fauci-doughnuts-trnd/index.html  To say I am a proud Rochesterian is a complete understatement!  

Okay, that's it for now. I will try to come up with more nonsense in the next few days. I encourage you to follow my blog, comment on it, share it with your friends and family and most importantly ... enjoy it!  

Signing off from the kitchen counter....

Jules


PS: Here is your daily dose of Dracula....  Who insists on being the gatekeeper to the pantry and depending on her mood, may let you in to get food ... but most likely not.